


Mermaid Biology 101

by aliziranCrimson



Series: monster school AU [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Asura Michael, Cloaca, Hand Jobs, M/M, This Is STUPID, Vaginal Fingering, god this is so stupid, mermaid Ray, monster school AU, not really - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliziranCrimson/pseuds/aliziranCrimson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael learns first hand just how strange mermaid biology is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mermaid Biology 101

**Author's Note:**

> Michael has four arms. it is No Big Deal.
> 
> this is so stupid im sorry

“You lost the _what_?”

Ray grumbles. He shouldn’t have opened his big, fat mouth.

“The dick battle, look, it’s a long fucking story, alright, just, drop it,” Ray rushes out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Please, no, you _have_ to explain this now," Michael says, giving him a wide eyed look.

Fucking _christ_.

"Augh, fine, okay,” Ray finally relents. “So the dick battle is a mer thing, all merpeople are born with dicks. Some voluntarily give theirs up and become egg-carriers. Most, however, don't want to do that, and it throws the ratio off and there aren't enough carriers, so at a certain age, usually around puberty, the people that want to be spawners, sort of, fight. With their dicks. And the losers lose theirs and become carriers. And I lost."

"You _lost_?" Michael asks, starting to laugh.

"Michael, stop fucking laughing, this isn’t funny."

"But you _lost_! And they cut off your _dick_!"

"They don't _cut_ it off, it, it just sort of, you know, falls off- Michael stop laughing!" Ray is seriously thinking about just pushing Michael off the side of the pool.

"Your dick _fell off_ , how did you fucking lose a fight with _so much_ on the line?" Michael practically screams with laughter. Ray is a little concerned someone is going to catch them in here after hours, but he’s more concerned about his wounded pride.

"You weren't there, you don't know! That kid was three times my size, it was fucking rigged, I swear!" Ray’s explanation only makes Michael laugh harder, tears streaming down his face. Michael covers his face with two arms, the other two holding his sides.

“Fuck you, man, just fuck you. You’re supposed to be my best friend and I open up to you about this _deeply personal thing_ , and you fucking laugh at me!” Ray pouts. Michael descends into a coughing fit from his laughter.

“Good, I hope you choke on it,” Ray says, sliding back into the water. “I’m going back to the commons, you can talk to me when you’re ready to stop being a fucking _asshole_.”

Ray is just about to duck underwater when Michael stops him.

“Wait, wait,” he wheezes, “come back.”

Ray swims back over to the side of the pool, resting his arms on the concrete.

“Are you ready to stop being an asshole?” Ray asks, glaring at Michael.

“Dude, I can’t believe you don’t have a dick, but there’s no way in hell you made that shit up,” Michael says, giggling.

“That’s because I _didn’t_. Seriously, who the fuck lies about losing their dick in a stupid cultural rite of passage- Michael, I swear to _fuck_ I will drown you if you don’t stop laughing,” Ray hisses, grabbing one of Michael’s legs as a threat.

“You have to see how funny this is,” Michael says. Ray glares, but…

“Yeah, okay, I can _kinda_ see how it’s funny,” Ray says, unable to stop himself from grinning at Michael. The boy’s laughter is infectious. He hops back up on the side of the pool with Michael, flicking him purposefully with water in retaliation for laughing. They sit together in amicable silence before Michael speaks up again.

“So, wait, if you don’t have a dick,” he starts. Ray stops him.

“Dude, we are _not_ talking about this,” he says.

“You can’t just say you don’t have a dick without telling me what you _do_ have,” Michael insists.

“I have half a mind to drown you, that’s what I have,” Ray says.

“Come on dude, I’m learning so much more about merpeople now than my fucking biology class has taught me all year,” Michael says. Ray sighs, giving up again. He really can’t say no to Michael at all.

“I have a cloaca,” he says.

“A _what_?” Michael asks.

“A cloaca, it’s kinda like a vagina and an asshole all in one.”

“Dude, that’s gross.”

“You’re the fucking one that asked!” Ray says, shoving Michael. Michael is quiet for a while, and when Ray looks over to him, he finds the boy staring at his crotch. “Dude, _really_?” Ray asks, covering himself. Michael shakes his head like he didn’t realize he was staring.

“Sorry, I just,” Michael mumbles, blushing.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Michael pointedly turns away from Ray, looking everywhere but Ray.

“Michael, why are you acting all weird, come on dude. Michael-”

“I wanna see it,” Michael suddenly says.

“I’m sorry, I must have water in my ears, I could have sworn you just said _you wanna see my junk_ ,” Ray says, blinking at Michael in shock.

“That’s what I said,” Michael says, blushing more. Ray stares at Michael for a moment more, then shrugs.

“Alright,” he says.

“What- Really?” Michael says, obviously surprised.

“Sure, I mean, YOLO right?” Ray says, scooting back and lying down on the concrete. Michael squeaks out something that could have been an agreement, but he’s too distracted by watching Ray’s hand slide down his torso.

Ray’s hand stops a few inches below where his torso meets his tail. The gym is dark, but with Ray’s bioluminescence, Michael has no trouble seeing at all. Ray lightly strokes the skin there, splaying his fingers on either side of a slit Michael wouldn’t have noticed by just looking at him. The more he strokes, the more obvious the slit becomes, puffing out in arousal, and the heavier Ray breathes. Eventually the lips part, giving Michael a good view of the hole within. It’s not quite a pussy, but it’s damn close.

“Wow,” Michael says softly, shifting slightly and trying to adjust himself without being obvious.

“Like what you see?” Ray asks with a breathless chuckle. His eyes are half-lidded, letting out soft pants as he continues to rub his slit.

“Yeah,” Michael breathes.

“You wanna touch it?” Ray asks. Michael swallows, adam’s apple bobbing with the effort, then he nods.

“YOLO, right?” he says. Ray lets out another breathy laugh.

“YOLO.”

Ray moves his hand and Michael’s replaces it, rubbing up and down the outside of the slit slowly. Ray lets out a soft moan, pushing his hips into Michael’s hand.

“Does that feel good?” Michael asks. Ray nods, moaning again.

“Y-yeah.”

“Can I,” Michael asks, wetting his lips, “can I put my fingers inside?”

Ray keens, shuddering at the question.

“God, _please_ ,” he begs. Michael slips a finger inside, feeling Ray’s inner walls flutter. It’s tight, slick, and strangely cool to the touch.

“Have you ever…?” Michael asks. Ray shakes his head.

“No, I’ve masturbated, but that’s about it,” he answers. Michael feels a little swell of pride that he’s first person to do this. He lays down next to Ray, using one hand to stimulate the outside, one to push two fingers inside, and the other two work on getting his own pants open. One hand slips inside his jeans while the other comes up to cup Ray’s face, turning him to face Michael. Up this close, Michael can just about count the galaxies of glowing pink spots on Ray’s cheeks. Their eyes meet for a moment, then they shift closer, pressing their lips together.

The kiss turns hot and desperate quickly, Ray shooing Michael’s hand away from his covered cock. He pulls Michael’s cock through the slit in his boxers, pumping his shaft lazily. Despite the heat behind their kisses, neither seems to be in too much of a rush to get the other off, wanting to take their time and savor the moment.

Ray comes undone first, hips and tail involuntarily twitching, chasing Michael’s fingers. He can’t seem to stop the small, desperate noises falling from his mouth as he ducks his head, resting it against Michael’s shoulder.

“Fuck, _fuck_ ,” he breathes.

“You close?” Michael asks, just as breathless. Ray nods, then Michael smirks, “Gonna cum for me?” he asks. Ray answers back with a little “ _uh huh_ ” then arches up, sucking in a breath through his teeth as he cums. Ray’s walls clamp down on Michael’s fingers, almost hard enough to prevent him from pulling out right away. In Ray’s bliss, his hand stops moving, loosely gripping Michael. He whines, so close to cumming himself, hips pushing into Ray’s hand.

“Ray, fuck, _please_ ,” he whines, “please, I’m so close.”

Ray nods, stroking him again with renewed vigor. He twists his wrist, thumb swiping across the head as Michael lets off a long string of curses.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck_ ,” Michael cries out, emptying himself into Ray’s hand. Ray strokes him through it until Michael is twitching away, oversensitive. They lay there, side pressed to side, gasping for breath. Ray lifts his hand, inspecting Michael’s cum, before giving it an experimental lick.

It’s certainly not good, but he can see how it’s a taste he could get accustomed to.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Michael sighs, tucking himself back into his pants. “We gotta do that more often.”

“Fuck yeah,” Ray says, laughing and sitting up. He rinses his hand off in the pool, hoping he doesn’t get a lungful of Michael’s jizz when he heads back to the commons.

“So, okay,” Michael says. Ray rolls his eyes, he thought Michael’s _research_ into mer biology was over.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“So, I could, _theoretically_ , put my dick in that, right?” Michael asks.

“Woah, take me out to dinner first,” Ray says, chuckling.

“I mean, we _could_ , if you wanted to, I mean,” Michael says.

“Seriously, like a _date_?” Ray asks, looking back down at Michael.

“Well, yeah, I mean we sort of just jerked each other off. Well, you jerked _me_ off, I fingered you. Not too big of a leap to dating,” he says. Ray considers Michael for a minute then shrugs, leaning down to kiss Michael.

“YOLO, right?”

**Author's Note:**

> welp
> 
> thanks for getting through that, you are a trooper. if you'd like, you can find me on tumblr, alizirancrimson.tumblr.com.
> 
> <3


End file.
